HOLLYWOOD, CA – After extensive research, including binge watching all 26 James Bond films in a 72-hour period, studio visits with Hollywood’s leading sound effects engineers, and unlocking every silencer upgrade in Call of Duty, the American Suppressor Association has discovered that Hollywood does in fact have it right when it comes to silencers. Therefore, ASA has made the decision to change our name back to the American Silencer Association, effective April 1st, 2021.
“For the past decade, I thought I knew what suppressors actually did, but I was wrong after all,” said Knox Williams, President and Executive Director of the American
Suppressor Silencer Association. “It turns out Hollywood is right when it comes to silencers. They actually silence everything. If ASA had taken the time to go to Hollywood instead of funding numerous scientific studies at multiple universities, we would have known that we were wrong this whole time. It was a complete dereliction of duty to think that we would be equipped to serve as a subject matter experts on silencers without first consulting the professionals in Hollywood. For that lapse in judgement, we apologize.”
“Hollywood has long been known as the arbiter of truth when it comes to the intersection of social issues and accurate scientific representation,” said Owen Miller, Director of Outreach with the American
Suppressor Silencer Association. “As one of the nation’s leading paleontologists, I learned everything I know about dinosaurs through the Jurassic Park franchise. It was silly to think that 15 years of experience in the silencer industry could somehow make me an expert in the field. Nothing can replace the knowledge I was able to gain in just a few hours by seeing Hollywood’s fact-based depiction of silencers firsthand.”